The Measure of a Man

I remember a few years ago, an older man joined the church and became active in our Ward. His enthusiasm for the gospel and his participation in the activity of our Ward were a wonder to behold. He wanted to drink fully from the fountain of church membership. He attended his meetings. He went to all the socials. He jumped at the chance to serve. When the kids went to the Temple to do baptisms for the dead, being not yet endowed, he sought the chance to do baptisms. He was always there, smiling, enthusiastic, eager to learn.

Somewhere in this process I heard someone comment that, "he's trying to catch up for lost time." The observer had supposed that our friend, due to his late discovery of the church, was way behind in his progress. I beg to differ. I think he was keeping pace, if not just a little ahead of the rest of us.

The supposition that Billy, for that is his name, was somehow behind, presupposes that life long members of the church are somehow ahead. Ahead of what? Ahead of who? Hopefully, we're ahead of where we, personally, once were; but I'd be loathe to suppose I was ahead of anyone else.

Such a supposition also seems to exclude Billy's former (pre-membership) life as null and void. As if we only get credit for the way we live if we're members of the church. As if our progress begins only after baptism. Billy always lived a good life. He was faithful to his wife. He responsibly raised responsible children. He worked hard for his employer. He was generous with those in need. He was honest and forthright in his dealings with others. He was happy, gregarious, enthusiastic, kind, thoughtful and good - even then. In fact, if I were to take Billy's measurement, I'd say 95% of Billy's goodness, in deed and character, preceeded his baptism. He certainly lacked the ordinances and with the covenants those ordinances represent, Billy became perfected in Christ - then - on the day of his baptism. He had no catching up to do. He was as caught up as any member of the church anywhere. His accounts were paid in full because he'd humbly entered a covenant with the only one who could settle Billy's account, or mine, or yours.

Was Billy perfect? Am I? Are you? Billy came to mortality for the experience to be had in a body. He had that in full. He experienced what a body has to offer; pleasure and pain, sickness and health, vigor and exhaustion. He came to earth to learn, serve and grow. He also came to mortality to reaffirm his faith and trust in Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of the Father's Plan to bring us home to receive all that He has to give us. Billy did all of those things and in my view, he did them right on time. Billy wasn't catching up, he was drinking in. Absorbing every ounce of mortal experience he could soak up.

Good on ya Billy!

Boycott The Biggest Loser

Update: 9/29/2009 - I was persuaded to watch again this evening. Much has changed. The language is much much improved. NBC, may I personally say thank you, for making the much needed change.

I watched the opening of The Biggest Loser, until in disgust I had to shut it off. It isn't new to this season that Bob and Jillian have filthy mouths that have to be bleeped during every workout. But last night was over the top! Folks, that behavior is not necessary and need not be tolerated by the viewing audience. It's time to boycott the program and it's sponsors and see if we can't get it back on track.

Bob and Jillian are not the fall guys here. The editors can bleep their language. They can also edit such behavior completely out of what we see. Clearly, they choose not to and I can only imagine they're after ratings. Let's give them some - some lousy ones.

I'm sure they'll try to justify the language as a "boot camp" approach. I went to boot camp. In six weeks I never heard the kind of abusive language I witnessed last night. Things may have changed in the nearly 40 years since I enlisted, but I'll bet it has changed for the better.

Our society has such a sickening double standard. If Nancy Pelosi told some junior congressman, she was trying to school, that he was going to be her "bitch" for the season, she'd be out of a job. They didn't bleep that one last night, when Jillian was shown making such a declaration to one of the contestants. Call it reality if you like. I call it debauchery and disgusting beyond the pale.

I've felt for years now that this program was a helpful, inspiring force for good. I've changed my mind. Count me out, until such time as The Biggest Loser can lose the trash talk.

Here is a partial list of sponsors to include in the boycott. Leave a comment if you're on board and pass the word. We want NBC to get the message soon and emphatically!

Sponsors:

• Britta
• 24 Fitness
• Shinealight
• American Express
• QVC
• Subway
  

Book Review - Freedom From Addiction

I'm pretty well steeped in addiction recovery methodology. I'm in recovery. I've worked the 12 Steps. I've taught the 12 Steps. I facilitate three 12 Step groups. I picked up Freedom From Addiction by David Simon, MD and Deepak Chopra, MD, to expand my understanding of addictive behavior and disease. Simon and Chopra have some pretty good theraputic methods to consider and certainly some wisdom to impart.

I liked this quote from early in the book: "Addictions serve a purpose. When people seek a shift in their emotional state and do not know how to create the change from within, they reach for something outside." I fully agree with that assessment. I agree with much of what they've concluded. Still, I struggle to recommend the book.

You have to understand how I feel about new wave philosophy, and Deepak Chopra's brand in particular. Who can know what motivates individuals within the movement. It appears, though, that in general the movement has seen holes in the world's religions. While they favor eastern thinking, they have drawn from all religious and scientific thinking. They've stepped up to the philosophical smorgasbord, so to speak, and selected what works for them. In one way this is good. I'll be the first to admit that most religions have clung to tradition and philosophy that glaringly contradict one another and because of rigid loyalty to their history are slow to correct obvious errors. Smorgasbord thinking makes the error correction possible, even attractive. In many ways, because of this, new wave thinking has the potential to step ahead of religions mired in archaic and apostate muck.

I struggle with new wave thinking, mostly because, I'd characterize it as me-theology. They have adopted the Nirvana view of me being god and god being me. I don't buy it. Like all modern day reformers, they, while shopping for truths to glean from the various sources out there, they have clearly neglected to look at LDS teaching and philosophy. They've allowed themselves to lump us in with main stream Christianity and thus overlooked revealed doctrine that has corrected the error so obvious to thinking seekers. Should they honestly investigate what we teach they'd discover they (and we) agree on many truths.

Now, the original 12 Steps as developed by Alcoholic Anonymous, is inspired of God, in my view. It so correctly mirrors LDS Doctrine that the Church has adopted the steps with only one clarification. Where AA refers to God in generic terms palatable to people of all walks of life, the LDS version refers to Jesus Christ. This is in no way a criticism of AA. Their target audience is broad and intended to encompass everyone. It is clear that Heavenly Father is cool with that. Legion are the AA stories of atheists and agnostics who, swallowing the possibility of some vague, inexplicable "higher power" have begun to find recovery and who consequently discover God in more and more detail and clarity. We in the church program are primarily focused on people who already have a pretty clear understanding of God, have been taught about the Atonement and have already clarified details about God that the population at large has not. We try to start from there.

Simon and Chopra have done the same thing; they've adapted the 12 Steps to match their paradigm. They make no mention of having consulted with AA (which the LDS church has done) and I doubt if AA would be pleased with their result. They remodeled the 12 Steps in their book beyond recognition. Now I'll allow them that privilege if they like. But I reject the result.

For me the 12 Steps only work because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. New wave philosophy rejects any need of The Savior's redemptive sacrifice on our behalf. They have some neat, practical and probably even useful psychologial therapy and some useful meditative technique that could be beneficial to folks with addiction problems. But, they have rejected "the power of God unto salvation." They think we can evolve into recovered creatures. I'm convinced that we must learn to repent and to rely upon the merits and mercy of He who is mighty to save. They think the power is in us. I'm convinced the power is in God and can only be in us by His grace.

For me, their approach to addition recovery seems hollow and while it may have resulted in recovery for some, cannot possibly provide the relief and healing the Redeemer has to offer. That said, I know the Master is kind and will grant grace to all who are sincere and there are certain to be Chopra followers who are experiencing a portion of His grace and goodness despite their lack of clarity as to it's source. The fact that any of us is breathing is rudimentary evidence of this. He came to redeem all of us. All of us. And He is about that business, even now, in all of our lives.

Growing Up In Himni Utah - Episode 4

The Halloween Dance

Dances and ball games were Himni's primary entertainment in the 60's. 80% of the student body attended every Himni High football or basketball game. Much of the town did too. During basketball season the gym was always packed. The band was rocking the house. The Pep club was seated in uniform in a block H on the home bleachers. The place smelled of sweat, popcorn and Right Guard.

There was a dance after every home game. Often even the adults stayed to dance.

The Halloween of my Junior year brought the annual costume dance. I took Rhonda Wardley and we double dated with my best friend Mitch and I can't remember who. Mitch never went steady until the next summer when we met the twins at Boy's State. That's another story though. His date could have been just about anybody, but was probably Dana Williams.

Anyway, after showing our activity cards we walked together on to the dance floor and grouped up with a crowd that had already gathered. We had no sooner joined the circle when one of the Hooper twins handed me $20.00!

"What's this for?" I asked.

"For dancing with Celestia Hopewell," he said.

"No way!"

He grabbed the twenty back but I hung on - thinking about it. Twenty dollars was a fair chunk of change in those days and one didn't let it go all that easily. Celestia Hopewell was the oldest, meanest, hardest, strictest teacher on the faculty. She might have retired ten years ago, but teaching High School English was all she knew. The gang had taken up a collection and determined that for $20.00 they could get Jinx to do it. They were right.

Mrs. Hopewell had come in a very elaborate witch's outfit. It suited her and made her seem even more formidable. Rhonda came as a clown which was pretty much in character for her too. I had come as a pumpkin. Well, actually, I came with a Jack-o-lantern on my head and a double knit green suit put on backwards. There was a rule against masks. I thought I'd have a little fun, so I cut a large hole in the back of the Jack-o-lantern which completely exposed my face (no mask). The Jack-o-lantern face was in the back, but so was the front of my pants, faux shoes and jacket. It had it's desired effect too. Twice during the evening I heard the voice of a teacher behind me, instructing me to remove the mask or be kicked out of the dance. It was such a kick to turn around a see the startled look that resulted when they realized they'd been scolding the back of me. Pumpkin guts drizzling down my neck all night was not part of the plan though.

It took a couple of dances and lots of encouragement from Rhonda to get up the gumption to earn my twenty bucks, but I finally did it. I made a broad arch around the gym floor and kind of tricked myself into stopping in front of Celestia Hopewell. She politely commented on my clever costume and I mumbled something about how scary she looked. At least I didn't lie. Then I cleared my voice and, as politely as I could, asked her to dance. To my chagrin and consternation, she graciously accepted.

We walked together on to the floor. Lots of eyes were on us. I'd picked a slow dance because I just couldn't picture her doing anything else. We assumed the position, her hand on my shoulder, mine at her waist and the other two joined, and the music stopped. Well, that was awkward. Now we had to visit a bit while we waited for another song. I wasn't due to take her English class until next year and as it turned out, I chickened out and never did have a class from her. The result was that there just wasn't that much to talk about. The break lasted forever. I wondered if the guys hadn't paid off the band too. Finally, the music began. It was Blue Velvet. Once again we made contact and began to dance.

Now Rhonda is a great dancer. She went on to college and became part of a championship ballroom dance team. She always said I was pretty good myself. Celestia, though, was amazing. She responded to every lead I offered. Not once did I feel that she was doing anything but flawlessly following my cues. She let me lead the dancing, but she lead the conversation and was so charming and witty I was in shock. I was having a great time! Me, 16 years old and Mrs. Hopewell, at least 70! I couldn't believe it. When the song was over, I began to escort her to her seat when she practically begged me for one more. She explained that she hadn't danced a single time since she was widdowed over 30 years before. I gladly consented. I even relaxed.

When I did take her to her seat I was overwhelmed with how pleasant the experience had been. As she sat down she thanked me and then asked, "So, was it worth $20.00?"

The pumpkin surrounding my head began to steam. I was about to break and run, when she presented me with the sweetest, warmest smile. I took a deep breath and replied that I''d pay $20.00 to have the opportunity again. I meant it too.

Sucking Too Hard On My Lollipop!

I've been pretty low lately. I couldn't put my finger on it. As I pondered things on this Sabbath Day, having already been to church and having listened to Les' inspiring lesson, my thoughts began to collect in some sort of coherent form.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I still haven't put things back together since the flood that destroyed our basement. I tackled the repair on my own because we wanted to move the stairwell. Interruption, followed by set back, over shadowed by life has practically incapacitated me. When I want to do what I'm inclined to do, the unfinished basement haunts me. When I tackle the basement, more important things get neglected. The usual result is that, overwhelmed, discouraged, confused, I do nothing. I have a hard time setting priorities. Too often, I choose the wrong thing to do out of some sense of demand. I spend too much time concerned about what I assume others consider to be my priority, instead of doing what my heart directs. The consequence of this is that I'm unhappy, unsettled and stressed.

I shared my dismay with Sweetie, who listened empathetically, without judgment or duress. Thanks Sweetie for that. I told her that I didn't want to have this hanging over my head for what appears to be forever; but that I couldn't see a way out from under the problem.

It was time to take Kate to her Singles Ward. On the way she had me listen to a couple of her favorite songs. They were nice. After dropping her off a third song came up on her CD; Sucking Too Hard On Your Lollipop by Mika. It's a lively, fun, enthusiastic tune and I just plain enjoyed listening to it. I couldn't understand the words. When it was finished, I listened again, and again, and again. I began to pick up the lyrics.

I went home and moped some more and watched a little TV. Then it was time to go to 12 Steps at the Detention Center. I listened to the song a couple more times on the way. I skipped up to the door, to the beat of the song and rang the buzzer. Dorothy unlocked the door and I went on in bopping down the hall to the control booth to sign in. Amused, Dorothy asked me about the spring in my step, so I sang the chorus to her and explained that I loved one of the lines, as it applied so well to some of the love struck girls who've been incarcerated there. Something about how Mama says to "live your life 'til love is found or love's gonna get you down." Suddenly, Dot began to tear up. When she collected herself, she thanked me saying, "That's just what I needed to hear. It not only applies to love, it applies to life. I've been sucking too hard on my lollipop!"

Nobody wanted to come to 12 Steps today so I turned right back around and headed home. I bounced into the house singing "sucking too hard on your lollipop" and Sweetie exclaimed, "What's happened to you?!"

"I've had a paradigm shift!" I told her. And I had. Over the course of a couple of hours this afternoon and especially, with the help of Dorothy, I discovered that I have been suckin' too hard on my lollipop. I've been trying to force my life, just like someone who's trying to force love. I need to just go on and live my life or life is going to let me down. Its so characteristic of addictive behavior to be trapped in a vortex of "shoulds", "ought tos." In my insecurity due to the choices I've made I am overly concerned about looking good, about appearing normal and in control.

Once again, the process of my recovery has revealed an undiscovered facet of the nature of my condition, my mortality. The more I take control of my life the less control I have over it. Once again, I have to admit I have a problem over which I am powerless and my life has become unmanageable. Time to work the steps again! Just like my addiction, this problem is too big for me, I can't lift it alone. But, also like my addiction, God can free me from the bondage I've got myself into, but I've got to quit trying to rescue myself and give the problem over to He who can.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly a paradigm shift changes everything; my mood, my clarity, my purpose, my faith. Talk about God's tender mercies. Suddenly, I know what I'm about and the direction I need to go. Finally, I can give myself permission to go there. At last I can enjoy my lollipop and quit sucking so destructively hard.

Thank you, Les, Sweetie, Katie, Mika, Dorothy, Darwin, Dr. Bob, Bill W., John, Bonnie, Kim, Heavenly Father, you are all so helpful and kind.