Fear Not!

A fundamental feature of fear is control..  It is quite natural to want to control the outcomes in our lives, the circumstances in our lives even the people in our lives.  Why do we do this?  I think its because of fear.

The mother who fears for her children may make all of their decisions for them and hover over them and smother their free will.  She's afraid they may choose wrongly.  She fears the embarrassment that may come of errant children.  She fears for their safety.  She fears for their Eternal well being.  And in the end she often creates what she fears, as her inexperienced children lay claim to their rightful agency, but haven't had the chance to learn how to make choices.  She has purchased Satan's Plan and, hopefully not too late, discovered that it is wrong.

It is human nature to seek control of the variables in our lives.  The trouble is, God made this to be a world of constants and variables, of blessings and calamities, of joys and sorrows; of opposites.  Why did He do this?  He wants us to learn to rely on Him and not the arm of the flesh.  We get so excited about investments for our futures, and insurance policies and locks and deadbolts; all to help us feel secure in a world that was designed to be insecure so we would develop faith in Jesus Christ.

We get it in our heads that to get what we want we have be be in control of the process.  Satan again.  To get what he wanted he felt he had to control the plan and all of its participants.  All predators are control freaks.  They want life on their own terms and they will go to any lengths to have things their way.  Obviously, they could care less about anybody but themselves.  Satan is the ultimate predator.

The folks who built the Tower of Babel were control freaks too!  They wanted control of the means by which they could ascend into Heaven.  Apparently, they had rejected Jehovah's plan.  Probably due to fear.  They had to put their trust in Christ, but were afraid to relinquish control to Him, which is requisite to the Plan of Salvation.  They were afraid to give control to another, however benevolent, preferring to work their guts out instead.

Why do we seek control?  Because we can't bring ourselves to trust.  We essentially say, "If God is driving how will I get to my destination?  Sounds silly when you put it that way doesn't it?  That is unless you have other plans along the way.  We all say we want to go to Heaven but we're certain we need to go by way of Babylon and we fear God will take us by way of Enoch.  Somehow Satan has got out hearts set on Babylon with glitzy brochures and alluring TV spots.  We're pretty sure our lives won't be worth living if we haven't had the chance to check it out.  The lights, the glamor, the tastes and sounds and smells have great hold on us.  We live in fear that we might miss out on them.  Or,

We think Jesus might be a great teacher, a sweet counselor, but he can't possibly drive a car.  He walked everywhere he went.  We'll surely wreck shy of our destination.  We'd rather be behind the wheel ourselves and make sure we make it.  We fear letting our salvation be up to someone else.  Or,

We think we live on the wrong side of the tracks.  We think there's no way He'll drive over to the seedy part of town to pick us up and take us.  We're going to have to make our own way in the world and when we finally buy that house in the hill, then He'll swing by to give us a ride.  We fear our own inadequacy and then, ironically, turn around a depend on it.

The way to overcome fear is to relinquish control.  Our objective is not to get control of  our lives but rather, to surrender it to Christ.

Here again, Jesus is the ultimate, perfect example.  He declared that He never did anything except the will of the Father.  If you attend the Temple you will see how literally, He means that.  His desire is that we do the same thing.  Surrender our will to the Father.  Elder Neal A. Maxwell has told us that our will is the only thing we own outright, therefore it is the only gift we truly have to offer God.

How did the Jaredites change from Tower Builders to people who would willingly climb inside of a windowless, rudderless, sail-less, helm-less box and let God deliver them across the ocean?  They chose to give up personal agendas,  to relinquish control, to trust God, to be obedient and to have faith.  It took them a long time and a fair amount of practice to get to that state of mind.  And God patiently let them grow to that capacity.  But, and here's the clincher, they started with a commitment.  "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord, over mountain or plain or sea, I'll say what you want me to say dear Lord.  I'll be what you want me to be."

The Tower of Babel was built on fear.  The Jaredites Barges were built on trust and love.  Their account says that as they traveled in those barges for 344 day, they never did cease to sing praises to their God.

To the control freak, shutting one's self up in a Jaredite Barge is inconceivable; as inconceivable as it is to trust Christ to redeem him.  But don't give up on him.  God will confound him.  God will knock down his towers.  God will allow him to suffer the consequences of his pride until, in the end he his humble enough to "let go and let God."
 

Find Me On Mormon.org

The LDS Church has added a wonderful new feature to their website Mormon.org.  They've invited members to post their profiles to their site so visitors and get acquainted with real members of the Church.  I was fortunate to be approved among the first 2000 profiles.  There are presently 13,000 profiles awaiting approval.

You can view my profile there and also post a profile of your own.  I think this is a great new opportunity to share the blessings of the gospel with interested people from around the globe.

I read yesterday that a Mission in New York is experimenting with Social Networking.  They have several missionaries who have set up pages on Facebook, MySpace and others in order to connect with and teach the gospel to an even more wonderful people.  Sounds, like fun.  Easier than knocking on doors.  But hey, I loved knocking on doors.  Those were such good times going around meeting people.  Of course in the Philippines it was easy.  Everyone was hospitable and kind.  I never had a single door slammed in my face in the entire two years I was there.

I think it is wonderful that technology is being developed and embraced by the Church and that it is becoming ever more effective in sharing the truths and joy that so richly bless our lives.

Book Review - Letters To My Sons by Stephen Merrill Weber

It's not fair to review this book because it isn't available for sale and you're not likely to get a chance to read it.  I'd like to see it published and would change the name to:

A Most Excellent Life


The book is written by my cousin.  Steve is 4 years younger than I and in our childhood, we never connected much. He lived with my folks the year I returned from my mission and we were in the house together for a few weeks.  I'm hesitant to admit that I thought he was just a pesky teenager and once he even pushed my buttons effectively enough that I decked him.


Letters To My Sons is a memoir of his remarkable life.  I only have space or time to hit the highlights, but I'd feel like I cheated you if I didn't at least try to introduce you to such a remarkable person.


Steve mostly grew up in the San Diego, California area.  His parents built a house there and Steve was able to be involved.  He came to love building, became a licensed General Contractor, built several homes of his own and a few for other people.  In High School he built a fine 19 foot travel trailer for his second semester project.  He worked in construction to put himself through school.  He served a full time Mission in Texas. He was called on a mission two consecutive summers as a finish carpenter for the Nauvoo Temple.  He was the principal builder of his parent's summer cabin in Wyoming, which he now owns and wants to operate as a Bed and Breakfast.


When Steve was 14 he checked out of school and sailed with friends in a 40 foot sailboat to Hawaii and spent months sailing around the islands.  Since, he has skippered a 70 foot private yacht in the waters between Seattle and Alaska.  He's been a competitive water skier and has spent days and days on the water.


Steve has traveled extensively at home and abroad and served as a tour guide on Church History tours.  He's been to Egypt, Jamaica, Israel, The Dominican Republic and Mexico and I'm sure I'm missing a few other foreign destinations.  He's a great fisherman, an avid cyclist, an expert skier, avid outdoors man and exceptional Scout Leader.


My cousin has served in several Bishoprics and was recently released at Bishop of a BYU Student Ward.  He has been a Stake Missionary, Scoutmaster and teacher in various capacities.  He is in high demand as a fireside speaker.

Steve has a lovely wife and six wonderful sons.  One of which is deceased, due to a tragic accident.

Now lets get to his career.  I'm not kidding, all this other stuff and much much more, he's done on the side!

He began as a Seminary Teacher and then moved to the CES Institute program.  He's taught at Institutes in Reno, Nevada, Seattle and Bellevue, Washington and Orem, Utah.  He's presently the director of the Institute at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut.

We've been friends much of our adult lives, yet much of this prodigious resume' was a complete surprise to me.  This book is written with a rich measure of humility.  It's intended audience is his own immediate family so there is no way or reason to embellish anything presented.

I am a lover of biography.  I loved this one.  Here is a man who has lived large, fast and well.  I can't stress enough how much admire, his accomplishments and character.

The quantity, variety and excellence of his accomplishments are not the things that most impress me.  Steve is not a heartless robot marching hastily through life.  Meaning, purpose and faith permeates everything he does. When he built his house in Issaquah, Washington, he had inherited a set of hand tools from his deceased grandfather.  To connect with his grandfather and heritage, Steve reserved one room to build and finish during those moments when he was working on the house alone.  He built that room using only those precious hand tools his grandfather had used.

When he happened to finish the last window in the Nauvoo Temple he paused and asked his good friend and leader to ceremonially, set the last pane.  He was studying the biographies of Saints who'd attended the original Nauvoo Temple and received permission to emulate a prayer service that was once conducted in the baptistry where he was assigned to build.

Friends mean everything to Steve and the long lasting, reciprocally blessed relationships he has maintained over many decades are astounding.  That kind of connection is only maintained by earnest, thought, tireless effort.

I wept for joy repeatedly as I discovered the heart of this most excellent man.

Thank you Steve for being who you are and helping me believe I could be half as fine.

Help Me Write My Book!

Now that I'm a writer, albeit non published, I'm getting down to business.  My first book has begun and is named.  I will call it Help Me To Understand His Words.  It focuses on learning from God through the Scriptures.

I'm trying a new experiment.  I'm writing it out in the open, where you can read, critique, suggest and otherwise collaborate with me.  I think feed-back will be healthy and productive.

So, this is my invitation to you to go to Help Me To Understand His Words and get involved in the writing process.  Nobody stands alone in this world and I feel confident that with God's help and yours, we can make this not only a work of love, but one of substance and quality.

Happy Birthday To Me!

I don't ordinarily draw attention to my birthday.  Today, though, I've given myself such an extraordinary present that I just have to tell you about it.

Most of you know that I've been unemployed for quite some time.  I've sent out dozens of applications, had a few interviews and still haven't found a job.  The past couple of weeks I've really beat myself up over it.  I had decided that I had to find something if it was no more than cleaning motel rooms.  Hey, I'm not proud, I cleaned and delivered portable toilets for a while.  You don't go much lower on the desirable jobs list than that.

Yesterday, depressed and out of sorts with myself, I had resolved to get out there and take the first job I could find, no matter what it was.  I just couldn't make myself do it.  Somehow, deep inside I felt that if I did I would be letting myself down by settling for less than what God had in mind for me.  Even so, I had no idea what He intends for me.  I spent the entire day wrestling with it.  At dusk I went for a walk.  I do some of my best thinking while walking.  It didn't take long.  I came up with the same conclusion I have on other walks, but this time I had the details.

I remember coming home from such a walk a few months ago.  Sweetie asked what I'd found out.  I told her that I felt that I was focusing too much on the problem and not enough on the solution.  Quite frankly, I had no idea what that meant.  This time I came home understanding quite certainly.

Most of you know I have a flood-gutted basement that has been so for three years.  I've had that troublesome problem hanging over my head all that time.  I had set out the fix it myself.  I even added to the problem by moving the stairwell and rearranging the rooms down there.  Much of the stuff we had down there is still stacked in the carport, rendering it useless for its intended purpose.  We've been slowly going though all that intending to have a yard sale.  Every free moment I've had has been overshadowed by the monster down stairs.  Every decision seems based on recovering from that disaster.  Too often I've had to choose between good and best as I've tried to move on with my life.  Too often, rather than choose, I've caved in to the overwhelming volume of the task and done nothing.

As I pondered these situations and my less than stellar response to them, it occurred to me that I might be barking up the wrong tree.  I remember Stephen R. Covey suggesting that we sometimes climb the ladder of success only to find it leaning against the wrong wall.  I began to wonder if that was it.  Covey also says that energy comes from oxygen and interest.  I had to admit that I had neither.  I'd quit working out and worse, I had no passion for anything I was doing.  That is except my service at the Detention Center.  I dared to begin to ask myself if there was anything out there that I was passionate about.  I dared imagine doing something I could hardly avoid doing because it inspired and motivated me so much.  I began to think about writing.

I've dabbled in writing most of my life.  But, most of my life I've been busy with work and other demands and seldom found the time to really develop my craft and thoroughtly discover my voice.  That is where my passion lies, that is what will get me out of bed in the morning.  That it is something that could make me want a prolonged and productive life.  Money, even enough to pay the bills just doesn't motivate me any more.  Life has got to have more meaning than to just plod through mundane tasks for a paycheck.

I began to understand what I must do.  I talked it over with Sweetie and received the best Birthday gift she could have given me - Whole-Hearted Support.

So today, on my 60th Birthday I am no longer unemployed.  I am a writer!  That is my job!  This new job has some pretty stiff requirements and it won't be easy, but I am on fire!  I am absolutely going in the right direction!  I can feel it in the depths of my soul.  I have finally given myself permission to pursue my dream.  The basement can wait or be worked on after work and on the weekends.

 I have an investment I can liquidate which will sustain us for a couple of months.  After that we'll just have to see.  I wrote a couple of days ago about seeing with the eye of faith and then going forth and making that vision come to pass.  I am willing to do that.  It will require a lot of discipline, at lot of courage and a lot of faith.  I hardly slept last night for excitement.  Yet I knew that my new job requires me to show up on time and to labor with integrity.  So I got up at six and did my morning routine so I could be showered, shaved and dressed for work on time.  I've been self employed before and I'm pretty scared of my boss.  He's quite the evil task master.  It'll take some getting used to.  I'll need to recalibrate my daily patterns to fit my new obligation.  But hey, no more shift work.  No more working on the Sabbath.  I should work out just fine.

Now, I have a few of favors to ask.  First, I'm fully aware that pulling this off with require a miracle.  I also know that the miracle is not likely to come until after the trial of my faith.  If you believe in what I'm doing, encourage me, please!  If you don't, please try to keep quiet.  I know how foolish this may sound to some of you.  There will be days when it will sound foolish to me.

Second, when I succeed, please help me to stay humble.  I don't want to ever be found taking credit for a miracle only God can perform.

Third, eventually, and hopefully soon, I'm going to have make some money with my writing.  You can be of great help with that.  Please visit my blog and its peripherals often and when you find something that genuinely pleases or inspires you, would you just forward it to friends and family who might like it.  That little gift alone will likely make all the difference.  I'm not yet prepared to send anything to a publisher, but developing a reputation will most certainly enhance my possibilities and broaden my prospects.

Now, skeptic or fan, I've laid it out there.  You are free to judge me as a fool or a visionary.  All I know is that for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm working on the solution instead of the problem.