It All Began With a Promise

I had the honor of speaking at my dear Mother-in-law's funeral yesterday.  There were several who requested a copy of that talk.  I include it here for them and those others who might be interested:

It All Began With a Promise

It all began with a promise -  when in that Great Council in Heaven, Jesus stepped forward and said, “Here am I, send me.”  It was a promise to set in motion, a plan to redeem His Father’s children, his own brothers and sisters, from the inevitable error inherent in their mortal experience.  He knew that in order for us to become like our Heavenly Parents we would have to have our agency in mortality.  He knew that with that agency we would, to some degree, choose to be in defiance of the laws of the Universe, the laws of happiness.  He knew that those wrong choices would prevent us from returning to live with our Heavenly Father and Mother, unless someone perfect and unspotted, without sin, could redeem us from our errors.

And so the Son of God, condescended to come to earth, to be born in a stable, to suffer the pains and sorrows of mortality, to endure the pain of our sickness, weakness, disappointment and sin in Gethsemane and on the cross and then die, that we might live.  That was a very personal promise made to you and to me.

In the church we do everything individually.  We take the sacrament individually.  We are baptized one person at a time.  The labor of the Temple could be greatly accelerated if we could do the work for groups, but no, we spend the hours and do the work for individual souls, one precious person at a time.  Mom knew and rejoiced in the privilege and spent untold hours extracting names and serving vicariously for such individuals in the temple, one person at a time.  So it was with Jesus’ Atoning and vicarious sacrifice.  I bear testimony that He took each of our names through the Temple of Gethsemane, one person at a time.  By so doing, he became intimately familiar with each of us.  He became acquainted with our grief, our disappointment, our fear and frustration, our anxiety and pain.  He did this that He might be able to understand and then succor us, that he might be able to lift us from our sorrow into the glorious light of His love and forgiveness.  Elder Boyd K. Packer explained the breadth of Christ’s most kind service thus:

“Save for those few who defect to perdition after having known a fullness, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no offense exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness.”

That promise extends to all and is a promise that will enable us to not only return to live with God again, but also with Rae and Garth, Noble and Donetta, Willard and Inez, Angela and Annie and myriad other loved ones who have gone on before us.

After Jesus died on the cross He went to the Spirit World, where Mom has gone, to visit the millions who had left mortality through death and were waiting there for the further implementation of God’s Plan for our Happiness.  There He organized the righteous to go forth and inform the rest, of the blessed and still available opportunity they had to, through repentance, find the joy of redemption.  Thus, they might become righteous too.  The definition of righteousness is not nearly so much tied to our performance as it is tied to our willingness to repent and receive redemption through Christ, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

Listen to these words of comfort as prophet and President Joseph F. Smith describes the place to which mother has gone:

Section 138 of the Doctrine and Covenants

 31 And the chosen messengers went forth to declare the acceptable day of the Lord and proclaim liberty to the captives who were bound, even unto all who would repent of their sins and receive the gospel.

  32 Thus was the gospel preached to those who had died in their sins, without a knowledge of the truth, or in transgression, having rejected the prophets.

  33 These were taught faith in God, repentance from sin, vicarious baptism for the remission of sins, the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands,

  34 And all other principles of the gospel that were necessary for them to know in order to qualify themselves that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.

58 The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God,

  59 And after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation.

I believe that Mom will continue with her involvement in that great work, just as she did here in mortality.  Earlier in that same section of scripture we read:  (Think of Mom as I recite these words.)

  12 And there were gathered together in one place an innumerable company of the spirits of the just, who had been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality;

  14 All these had departed the mortal life, firm in the hope of a glorious resurrection, through the grace of God the Father and his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ.

  15 I beheld that they were filled with joy and gladness, and were rejoicing together…

If anyone departed this earth worthy of such joy and rejoicing it is our own Grandma Rae.

You will notice that the chief characteristic of those joyful ones was that they had been “faithful in the testimony of Jesus.”  While it is important to bear testimony of Him, might this not also mean that we must be faithful in His testimony about us?  Everything Jesus ever did or said was a testimony that we, His sisters and brothers ARE of Divine Worth and Infinite Potential!   Mom tried to convey that truth to us as well.  We have within us the seeds of divinity.  Let us go forth from this day forward, responding to Jesus’ promise to redeem us with a promise of our own.  That like our Mother we will be faithful in accepting Jesus’ testimony that we are precious children of God who are indeed, of Infinite Worth and Divine Potential.

It all began with a promise.  On December 22, 1942, nearly 68 years ago, Garth Rasmussen and Rae Petersen knelt across an altar in the Logan Temple and made a promise of their own.  They promised that they would begin a new family in the earth.  One that would endure through eternity.  They have kept that promise. 

Along the way there were other, smaller promises that added up to that one big one.  Rae promised to follow Garth to the ends of the earth and Guam and Newfoundland and a dozen places in between were very nearly so.

They promised they would be faithful to one another, and so it was.

They promised they would do their best to raise their children and so they did.

Garth promised to build a house for his parents, a promise he kept.  And then to keep his promise to provide for his family, he expanded that house to what it is today, though not quite as yellow.

Rae promised to fill that house with love and memories and oh, how faithfully she honored that commitment.  But suddenly, have you noticed; it wasn’t the house, but she who was its very heart, which made it such a home.

Mom promised a life of consecration and that was the life she lived.  She kept a journal of all the quilts she made and gave away.  We thought that was pretty impressive.  Then Darryl Wilson showed up last night with another journal of all the quilts her quilting group had completed in just the last decade!  How many lives are wrapped in the warmth of her great love and devotion?  How many names has she done in the temple?  How many more has she extracted from old, hard to read records?  How many sisters has she visited?  How many lessons has she taught?  How many meals has she prepared?  How many lives has she touched for good?  More than any of us can possibly count.

I used to go to the temple on Saturday.  I often wondered if I’d ever see some heavenly manifestation while I was there.  Then when I retired I switched to Monday; and there in the Temple I saw an angel, our own angel mother, I hesitate to add the in-law, for she is a dear to me as my own mother.  I have seen that angel in the Temple often and hope to, yet again.

I hope you all got to hear Mom pray.  I got to hear her bless the food one morning.  She was hoping to choke down a few spoonfuls of yogurt.  But to hear her pray you’d have thought she was sitting down to a feast.  Her humble, sincere, heartfelt gratitude knew no bounds.

Recently, as she and Cheya were closing an arduous day of sickness with prayer, Mom gratefully acknowledged the blessing she had so enjoyed of serving in the Temple.  As they finished and Cheya was tucking her in, Mom told her that the Spirit had whispered another promise; that she would yet enjoy many many hours of Temple service.  We take that to mean that she will be resurrected and serve in the Temple during the blessed years of the Millennium.

I’d like to finish with one final promise.  It is a promise delivered by a Patriarch, from God, to us, through her:

The Lord will make up to you, because of your faithfulness, for every heartache and sorrow that has come to you and they will be turned into joy and blessing for you for every righteous desire of your heart will yet be realized.  The Lord will eventually make up to you every blessing promised to you in the temple.  You will not lose any of them.  You can be sure of family life and exaltation eternally.  Nothing is impossible to the Lord.  Through the continued love, effort and prayers of yourself and children, the Lord will work upon your husband to where he will yet come to love the Gospel and give faithful service in it.

Then God promised:

I seal this blessing upon you Sister Rasmussen, and seal you up that through your faithfulness you will come forth in the morning of the first resurrection, with your loved ones, thrilled at the part the Lord has given you in mortality in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

With regard to God’s promise concerning Dad; Mom had a second witness of its truthfulness when Cory brought Audrey to the Vernal Temple to receive her endowments.  It was an experience too sacred to express here but affirmed that her beloved husband is indeed hers forever.

With regard to the rest of us, who all fall short of the standard of righteousness that lets us send her off so assured of her exaltation, may I close with this affirmation of the Patriarch’s certain promise.  From Orson F. Whitney we read:

“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home the painful experience will not have been in vain.

I assure you that Mom kept her promises.  She will have us.  Her love will draw us to her and not one of us will be lost to her.  I don’t know about you, but I want to respond to those tentacles of Divine Providence, tentacles I feel here today.  I want to respond to them sooner, not later, so that upon my own arrival in the Spirit World, I will be one found rejoicing, not still treading a thorny path.

Mom is forever ours, and we are hers.  I promise, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Thank You

Our time of bereavement has come.  Rae Petersen Rasmussen has majestically returned to that God who gave her.  This morning all I can really feel is gratitude.  So, I just want to say thanks!

Thanks to Cheya, Steve, Jenny, Verona and Shaneen who faithfully took their turns caring for Mom over the past few weeks.  How they tended to her every need.

Thanks to Susan who rode to the rescue all the way from Virginia to help us carry on as we, exhausted, needed to redouble our efforts.  You never falter and we are so grateful you came. 

Thanks to Mark and Susan who so very frequently gave up their weekends and traveled so far to give the others a break and also give such love and service.   

Thanks to Uintah Basin Home Care/Hospice and more particularly to Rose and Kay, for their fine attentive service and kindness.

Thanks to Wayne and Greg, Kevin, Debbie, Melinda and Janna for coming so very far to love and to serve before she left, only to come so far again to see her off.

Thanks to Steve for doing all the work to get Mom and Dad's headstone so beautifully designed and set in place in time for Mom to see it.  Thanks for getting her out of the house on that one last, special excursion.

Thanks to Bishop Cook and President Case for coming to the house to renew her Temple Recommend.

Thanks to Jodi, Mom's Relief Society President for precious acts of service, accompanied by so many Sisters in Zion.

Thanks to Davis for being worthy to bless the emblems of the Atonement one last time for his dear Grandmother.  And for the Priests of her Ward who faithfully rendered that precious service all the while she was homebound.

A special thanks to Kevin for being Mom's house-mate these several years.  You eased our hearts, blessed our lives and broadened our smiles.  You most certainly blessed the life of your Grandmother.

Thanks to Kristi, Ronnie and Kevin, Jenny and John, Steve and Cheya, Shaneen and Mark for painting her house.  And to Steve and Eric, Scott and Ryan and John for shingling her roof.

A heart felt thanks to Jenny and John for mowing her lawn and shoveling her walks season upon season.  And thank you for washing her windows and cleaning her house and for rallying the rest of us for Spring projects and so many other good deeds.  No one's beat a more consistent path to Grandma's door than Jenny.

Thanks to Cheya for countless hours working on boxes and boxes of family photos.  Mom loved that project so very much.  You blessed her life greatly as you reminisced together through so many precious memories. We will forever be the beneficiaries of your tireless efforts to preserve and chronicle our lives together.

Thanks to Shaneen for paying all the bills and keeping Mom's financial affairs in order.  You did it quietly and without fanfare, but this great blessing didn't go unnoticed.

Thanks to Steve for his oversight of the property and for his constant concern for Mom and her welfare.  Your selfless service and constant concern make sure nothing falls through the cracks.  Additionally, Steve, your concern for others and your willingness to give us much needed breaks, have given us the vitality and perspective we needed to carry on.

The whole family is grateful for the NOBLE, pioneering, wisdom of Eric.  He has showed us all how to serve, to mourn, to have faith and great courage.

Mom's final night in mortality was a difficult one.  She was closely attended to by Susan, Steve, Mark, Shaneen, Verona, Scott, Jenny and Katie.  The vigil they kept through the night was one of devotion, prayer and concern.  A heart felt thanks to each of you.  Mark and Steve's words of comfort and encouragement fell on our ears as well as hers.  Most especially we are grateful for Mark's prayer and Katie's wonderful song.  It was certainly a sacred moment when she passed beyond the veil to her glorious and certain reward and happy reunion.

When Cheya arrived at her mother's bedside and found her body relaxed and at peace, she exclaimed a joyful, heart felt, "Yay!"  In celebration of a life well lived and a fight well fought.  In rejoicing that the long ordeal of suffering had finally come to its joyful end.  Thank you Cheya for your enduring faith and refined perspective.

There is a long list of others who because of work and distance and other difficulties, couldn't enjoy the rich blessings so abundant to those who could give her more constant care.  Loved ones who came by as often as they could and who did so much to lift her spirits, and ours.  Kristi, Julie, Cory, Audrey, Jason, Rachel, Alyson, Ryan, Julie, Cassie, Jordan, Stacey, Brett, Angela, Donald, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Billie, Molly Dean, Amy, and Darryl; thank you all so very very much for your love, devotion, encouragement and concern.

When, Brinli, Aubree, Ryker, Porter, Brooke, Robbie, Lincoln, Jeff and Megan, bopped in for loves and smiles, she was never happier.  And she often mentioned and asked about her more distant great-grand children in far away Virginia.  Thanks to all of them for their affection, prayers and expressions of love and concern.

Thanks to the Blackburn Vernal Mortuary for the warm, professional way in which they served our family and for the dignified way in which they cared for Mom.

Thanks to the Davis 1st Ward Relief Society for lovely arrangements and delightful food.  The luncheon was marvelous and gave us such a bountiful opportunity to mingle with loved ones.

Thanks to so many Petersens and Rasmussens and Harrisons who came such amazing distances to express their love and condolences.  Add to that the dozens of friends who also came to pay their respects and you have an amazing group of wonderful people whose lives were touched by mother and very much the other way around.  The flowers and other arrangements were beautiful and added such cheer to our sorrow.  They were a source of great joy.  Thank you.

Most of all, a special thanks to Mom.  You were faithful and determined to the very end.  Your example of sweetness, persistence, humility, grace and goodness will never be forgotten.  

You left your house clean and freshly painted, with brand new doors and a full propane tank.  You left our lives equally filled and bright with your love and attentive care.  We cannot imagine life without you and hope you are never very far away.  We trust we will see you again for the sake of your goodness if not for our own.  None of us has ever known a more perfect example of righteousness and womanhood.

Finally, a special thanks to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ, for giving Mom to each of us.  Thank you for comforting, lifting and touching our lives through her.  Thank you for giving us the promise of seeing her and Dad again one day.  Thank you for answering our prayers in her behalf.  Thank you speaking peace to our souls at her passing.  Thank you for orchestrating the theme and circumstances that made this difficult occasion a holy, memorable and blessed one.

Note:  I'm glad this is an adaptable medium so I can amend it when I discover that in my weakness I have overlooked someone, which I surely have.  If you know of such an oversight, please let me know.  I guess to be adequately thorough, I should have written a book.  Myriad are the kindly deeds of service that have been rendered incident to Mom's illness and passing.  This is but a brief overview.  I hope I can be forgiven for it's mistakes.  It's just that I could not restrain myself from expressing the profound gratitude I feel for all that has been done to ease and bless the life of our dear Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Sister, Friend, Aunt and dear one, Rae Petersen Rasmussen.

It has been a strain and a joy, as we tearfully remember our way through a house full of memorabilia.  A heartfelt thanks to seven wonderful siblings whose generosity, love and affection for one another has transcended worldly wants for something far sweeter and more meaningful.  You honor your mother richly by the way in which you conduct your lives and the care with which you maintain your family relationships.

A Great Heart

Sweetie's dear Mother is leaving us.  It has been a long slow process.  She has such a great heart that doesn't want to quit.  She is completely bedfast now.  She is mostly unable to respond to us.  For days now she has struggled for breath, but still she chugs on.  We've taken turns at her side around the clock for a couple of weeks now.  Each day we marvel that she continues to persist in living.

We've all said our goodbyes and are hopeful that she doesn't need to suffer much longer.  Two of our daughters spent the night with her last night.  I was just there, where she is surrounded by two sons, a daughter, two daughters-in-law and three grand children.  When Sweetie awakens from her exhaustion, we'll return to carry on.  Everyone gets a break but Mom.  Seems as though that's how it has always been.

In our prayers we wonder why she must suffer so, but last night Katie sang her a lullaby and her grandmother roused briefly in an expression of gratitude.  Numerous little incidents of closure like that have taken place during the long ordeal.  All we can do is trust Heavenly Father's wisdom in the matter.  For days we thought, "this is the day."  We think so today as well.  But who can really tell the strength of a great heart.

Choosing Up Sides

I answered the phone last night.  There was a sweet lady on the other end conducting a survey.  Ordinarily I don't have time for such things.  I also resist the fact that they just assume I have plenty of time and never even ask if their interruption in my life might be convenient or not.

For some reason, curiosity I guess, I said I would participate and asked how long it would take.  She couldn't tell me because she didn't know how long it would take me to respond.  That was my cue to take as long as I wished.

The premise of her survey was completely flawed as pertains to me, but still I persisted to the bitter end.  You see, all of her questions wanted to know if I were conservative or liberal.  It never occurred to those seeking the information that there might be people who are neither.

She asked me who I preferred Bush or Obama.  I paused, considering that for quite a while.  When she expressed curiosity as to why such a answer would take so long I answered, "I'm trying to decide if I prefer crap or poop."  She seemed totally lost as to what I might mean.  I explained that I didn't like either one and so was not in a position to honestly answer the question.  I asked if there might be a third alternative.  Nope.

I chose poop.  The next question was, "Do you consider yourself liberal or conservative?"  I answered, "Neither."

"That is not a choice sir."

"Do you want me to lie?"

"Of course not!" she exclaimed.

"Maybe I should just hang up then."

"Oh, no, we value your opinion." she declared.  I explained that if she valued my opinion she'd let me answer truthfully, but since she was restricting the answers I could give she was forcing me to lie."

"Can we proceed now," she impatiently asked.

"Of course!"

I decided the only way I could fairly represent my position was to answer the remaining questions alternately conservative and liberal.  She struggled with my inconsistency and accused me of messing with her data.  I tried again to explain that I needed to represent the unrepresented middle and that I needed to average the two poles.  This was way over her pay grade.  We discussed almost every answer so I could help her understand.  I explained that when the left goes to some extreme or other, the right feels compelled to counter with an extreme of their own and vice versa.  I pointed out that when this happens the two sides find less and less common ground.  I stand on that common ground, but nobody is representing me.  Common ground is the fertile soil of common sense and nobody I'm aware of in Washington has a lick of it.  Come to think of it very few of my acquaintances have much of it either.  Of course the Washington establishment is aware of that as well as I am.  They are not bumbling idiots.  They are greedy power mongers whose time is spent securing their own personal interests above those of the nation.  They are not going about this blindly, they know very well what they are doing.

This can only be fixed by term limits.

The economy, the environment, race relations, poverty, military, health and welfare are not the fundamental issues.  They are seen by the controlling elite as means with which to manipulate the country for their own power hungry ends.  We the voters no longer control the system, we are just fodder for it.  Their fundamental tactic is to divide and conquer.  They have succeeded in dividing us and the results are more than obvious.

The Crunch of Sugar on the Kitchen Floor

I awoke from a nap just moments ago and as I walked into the kitchen, felt and heard the crunch of sugar spilled on the kitchen floor.  Sweetie is spending the afternoon at her mother's.  Katie is sleeping off a cold.  Neither are suspects.  The grandkids live through the back gate, one of them is.

Now, I'd rather those two didn't feel they had free rein in our house; especially when we aren't up or around.  Still, I want them to feel comfortable; as though they belong - which they do.  Megan has a lot of energy and ton's of initiative, she is my most likely suspect.  She's turning seven this month and is a whiz at First Grade.  I wonder how to approach this as they will arrive here to be babysat in a few moments.

I often look at the troubled kids at the Detention Center and ask myself, what happened that turned these children from sweet little kids to the pained hoodlums they've become.  Was it a 'sugar-on-the-kitchen-floor' moment when they were seven?  Maybe, maybe not.  But I'll wager that it all started with a gross over reaction to something.  Soon it became a series of somethings and the divergence between the two roads became wider and wider.

I wonder if a parent, grandparent or baby sitter looked at a pile of spilled sugar and thought only of themselves.  Who thought, "I'm tired.  I have to clean up this unnecessary mess.  What did I do to deserve a kid like this?  I can't take this any more. I....  I..... I...."

What if they'd have thought of Megan.  What if they asked, "What did you have in mind when you pulled out the sugar cannister?  Were you successful at making a batch of Kool-aid?  What flavor did you choose?  How did it taste?  Can I have some?"

I'll bet that during the last course of interrogation an apology for the mess, just might be forth coming.  I'll wager that the reason no attempt to clean it up came as result of being called home before the project was complete.  I can imagine that her intention was to surprise me with something sweet to drink...... (I just checked and was disappointed that the fridge didn't hold such a prize.)

It took me all of a minute to sweep and mop it up.  Shall I blow that all out of proportion and send little Megan down a more difficult road?  When you're seven big ideas don't turn out quite like you expect, shall I condemn her to the closet or the corner and commence building a barrier between us.  Shall I push her away when all she wants is to love and be loved?  Shall I punish her enterprise?  Shall I scold her initiative?

She just walked in the door.  I was glad I'd considered some questions in advance.  As a young father I might have sat her beneath a bare light bulb and used her Mom to play good cop, while I played the bad one.  Regrettably, I doubt I was playing.

Kids are quite capable to understanding the magnitude and appropriate consequences of their various mistakes.  Blown out of proportion, this little incident might have driven a wedge between she and I.  I think I'll let her help me decide how serious her little infraction should be.  Kids deserve at least the treatment citizens get in our courts.  They ought to be considered innocent until proven guilty.  A reasonable period of time might be granted before sentencing.  Careful consideration should be given to ensure the punishment is appropriate to the crime.

After supper we decided to have a trial and Jeff (nearly nine) accepted the responsibility to be Megan's Defense Attorney.

Court was called to order and the accused was asked to stand.  Her charges were explained and when asked she pleaded not guilty.  (Now what do I do?)  I proceeded with the trial and asked the Defense Attorney present evidence of Megan's innocence.  He called himself to the stand and confessed that it was he who had spilled the sugar, so it could not possibly have been Megan.  The case was immediately dismissed and the prisoner released.

Another trial was held with the roles reversed.  Jeff plead guilty and we moved right to the sentencing phase.  Megan suggested Jeff's punishment should be that he be required to put make-up on.  Jeff plead for mercy and suggested a week without video games.  "Commit the crime - Do the time," I said.  "Roll the dice - Pay the price", Jeff replied.

Sentencing guidelines considered both suggested punishments to be excessive.  The condemned was asked if he'd like to explain his actions.  He answered forthrightly.  He was conducting an experiment in the process of dissolving a solid in a liquid.  When asked why sugar was left on the floor he plead, "absent minded professor!"  His plea for mercy and understanding carried the heart of the court.  With an apology and a promise to be more thoughtful next time, the criminal was released on his own recognizance.

Best spent spilled sugar ever!