So Grateful!

I haven't posted in a long long time.  I've been busier that a one legged man in a butt-kicking contest.  And in the end, it was I who needed, and got, the butt-kicking.

My friend Clair often says that, "Life is a series of lessons, which get repeated until they are learned."

I have had lots of experience with repeated lessons.  In fact on repeated occasions I have taken a day off, fasted and prayed, retired to the wilderness, and prayed mightily for what I needed to learn.  Always I would return with an epiphany!  The last time, when I revealed my "newly discovered" answer to Sweetie, she observed that it was the same revelation I received last time and the two or three times before that.  To put it gently, I'm a slow learner.

Always the answer has been.  "Forget about yourself and your problems and serve the Lord by serving others."  Pretty simple.  Pretty amazing how Satan uses life's circumstances to turn our concerns inward, again.

Back in August, I had another of my epiphanies and, of course, it was essentially the same discovery I always get.  At that time I realized that while I was financially poor and in difficult circumstances (lacking an adequate job to pay the bills and dig myself out of the financial pit I've digged for myself) I was, filthy rich with free time!  That was quite a realization.  Especially, when, in evaluation, I saw how much I was wasting. That morning I marched out the door with a hope of finding someone who could make better use of my time than I had been.  I didn't make it far. I found a couple around the corner unloading a number of 12 foot 2X6's from their pickup.  The boards seemed bigger than they were.  He's 88 years old by the way.  I stopped to help and asked what they were up to.

"Building a shed." was their reply.

"Really?!"

"Yup, got bored and needed a project." he said, matter of factly.

Now his ambition did out strip his capability a little and that was where I came in.  Over the next few weeks these friends and I built a mighty fine shed.  12' X 10' X 8' with a gabled roof built with trusses my friend made himself.  I couldn't have been more happy than I was during those three weeks.  Good companionship! Strengthened friendship!  Rich rewards!  A fine education!  I learned a lot.  A lot about myself and how utterly selfish I had become.  During that time there were other opportunities to serve beyond this one and I found myself relishing the privilege.

Now my personal concerns seemed to have shifted.  No longer was I praying for a solution to my financial woes; but rather I was concerned that when I did find a job that I'd be prevented from having such blessed time to focus on others.  I had found such joy that I didn't want to lose it, ever.

It was about this time that an old friend called to suggest I apply for a job which had just opened up.  One I had never considered.  I did apply.  And was hired on the spot!  And was put right to work!  And miracle of miracles, my income has doubled.  Over night!

I've become a bus driver.  I work for Wilkins Bus Lines and make two trips to Bonanza, carrying miners, each week day.  The first run is from 3:15 to 6:15 in the morning and the second, from 1:15 to 4:15 in the afternoon.  The pay is great and the job is fun.  I drive the road I drove most of my UPS career.  The schedule doesn't interrupt any of my current projects and leaves me plenty of time to be involved in the lives of others around me.  I could not conceive of a more "tailor made" opportunity.  It fulfills my needs, hopes and dreams perfectly.  As though Someone actually cared about an obscure bit of organic matter like me.

Now, this is not all.  I've mentioned that I've spent the past 14 months caring for an Alzheimer's patient who lives across the street.  His wife needed my help so she could bring him home from the Care Center.  She has paid me handsomely for the service, especially considering the small amount of time it takes to change and turn him in his bed.  Her generosity has been such a blessing and I am overwhelmed that she considered me a blessing in her life, for I can only see it the other way around.  We never considered that he would live this many months and both of us quietly harbored some anxiety about it.

I wondered how long we could make in financially on the income from this very part-time job.  Still, I was determined to stick it out because I had committed to it for the duration.

She worried about running out of money to pay me, but needed my help and also knew that I was in great need of the income.

Out of concern for each other, we never really expressed our concerns to one another.  Then along came this job opportunity.  The bus schedule didn't interfere with the care schedule, so with her permission, I accepted the job.  It was then that I was impressed to tell her that I no longer needed to be paid for my service.  I had told her initially that I would only accept such money as I absolutely needed and that now I don't need any.  We both wept as she explained that she had been forced to consider letting me go as she'd run out of funds to continue paying me.  I still get to serve.  She still has the help she needs.  God has found us both another solution.

Now, this also meant, one month of difficult money problems at my house.  Then, along came an additional bus driving opportunity.  It pays well.  Is temporary.  Allows me to do both routes.  Problem solved.  I started working on October 20 and by the end of the month had made nearly a full month's wages.  With God, no problem falls through the cracks.

Now, I don't, in any way deserve such wonderful gifts from God.  They have not come to me and my family because we are good, but because He is good.  The only hang up has been my failure to recognize that.  An important lesson, from Jesus himself, "... there is none good, but God."

Comfort and Assurance

My youngest had a stuffed Bunny she loved.  For years she carried it everywhere and, of course, slept with it at night.  As she grew older she grew to a point where she could leave Bunny behind when she went out to play.  She and her friends spent hours outdoors in the summer, imagining and the enacting wonderful adventures.  Every hour or so, though, she would come scurrying into the house, grab her Bunny and hold it to her face.  Then she would close her eyes and draw a deep assuring breath through the fabric of her pal.  After just a moment of this, Bunny was tossed lovingly back onto the couch and Katie was off for more fun and adventure.

That is rather how I feel about General Conference.  We Latter-day Saints live lives full of joy and adventure as we strive to build the kingdom in our families and communities.  We are busy and are about the work of the Lord.  He is with us and sustains us by His Holy Spirit and by our companionship with our fellow laborers.  It is tiring, but not tiresome work.  It is full of joy and sometimes disappointment.  We might carry on okay without conference, but what joy and comfort we gain as we come scurrying in from all over the globe to pause and draw a deep breath assurance, faith and testimony.  And, then go rushing back out into the world, to love and enjoy God's children all over again!

WIN A FREE AUDIO BOOK COPY OF LOUISE PENNY'S NEWEST BLOCKBUSTER - A TRICK OF THE LIGHT

A Trick of the Light by Louise Penny is also available in audio from McMillan Audio and you can win a copy of your own!

This latest in the Chief Inspector Gamache series is, in my opinion, Penny's best work yet and has, just in a week, climbed to number four on the The New York Times Best Seller list!

I'm giving away a copy here on my blog.  All you have to do is comment on my review of the book here, plus, you must become a Follower of my blog.  You can follow me by becoming an email follower and/or, by joining my blog through Google Friend Connect. Both are secure and your information will be used for no other purpose.  You can find both options at the top of the left column on my blog.  Also, if you friend me on Facebook and post a link to the contest on your wall, you will get your name entered two additional times!  Good luck!

I will hold a drawing on the 1st of October 2011 and notify the winner personally and also post their name on the blog.

Here is an audio excerpt from the book -

Book Review - A Trick Of The Light by Louise Penny

Once again Louse Penny blows my mind with a smash hit!  A Trick of the Light, her seventh in the Chief Inspector Gamache series, has surprised and astonished me.

After seven volumes of her novels, plus a near daily reading of her very candid and personal blog, I feel like I know Louse Penny pretty well.  We've even enjoyed some personal correspondence.  Still, the depth and breadth of her imagination, coupled with the richness of her humanity, leave me stunned every time I finish and reluctantly close one of her books.

I don't spoil novels by even dropping hints about their contents.  This time, though, I'm tempted.  There is so much I would like to tell you.  So much I'd like to entice you with.  As always, I'd like to suggest you go back to the beginning and start with Still Life.  This series is best enjoyed in order.  I know lots of people who've read one or two out of order and say they stand alone just fine.  It may seem so, lacking the big picture.  But the series is becoming more and more, for me, all about the big picture.  About my own big picture.  As if Louse knew me as well as I think I know her.

Now, as I am a Mormon, and as I have a mostly Mormon audience on LIVE AND LEARN; it has come time to talk about the elephant in the room.  This volume is quite abundant in its use of the F-Bomb.  Perhaps I should address this issue separately, but this is the time it matters most for me, so shoulds aside, I'm going to address it now.

I don't like that word.  It curdles my blood.  I wish it never existed.  I rejoice that nothing worse seems to be emerging in it's wake; but as its use becomes ever more common I don't think I'll ever be resigned to hearing or reading it.  I could, and previously have written diatribes about the crude, base, degrading ignorance it represents.

That said, I still recommend this book.  Please be patient and let me tell you why.  There is a reason people use such vile language, perhaps several.  Usually, it is associated with a desperation to be heard.  More and more humanity is crying out for relevance and meaning.  More and more, that desperation has invaded mainstream lives.  When we were in Montreal, a tour guide informed us of the hundreds of empty churches in that once devout city.  It is happening everywhere.  People have cut their moorings and in many cases justifiably so.  Subsequent generations have often never known the blessing of being tied to something stable, reliable.  Myriads are adrift, frustrated, and increasingly desperate for safe harbor, anchorage.

Is it any wonder that desperate to be heard, frustrated, they turn to language that calls attention to their plight?  In my work with fellow addicts I encounter such desperation on a regular basis.  My heart is filled with compassion for them.  The more I listen, really listen to their hearts, the less desperate they become to be heard and the less frequently they lash out with such language.  They are hurting and like the woman in labor, who often says things she would ordinarily not say; I feel to excuse them.

I don't like the F-word, but today it has new meaning for me.  It is no longer the expletive of a scum bag, but a cry for help.  A plea for compassion; which all to often is met with rejection that compounds the agony of the drifting soul who uses it.

Please don't be tempted to judge Louise Penny for sharing, in a frank and poignant way, what I am so feebly trying to express.  I guess she could soft petal the desperation, loneliness and emptiness of which this word is so common a symptom, by somehow toning it down; but then, I for one, would not have learned the lesson.

Louise, herself, is not so crass, nor is Chief Inspector Gamache.  I take comfort in that.  It gives me comfort that neither she nor her protagonist are adrift and that their example and centeredness are so juxtaposed to the other that we can see, and so, want what they have.

There is a difference between prudence and prudishness.  If you choose the former, you will love this book (The previous volumes are not nearly so full of such language.  This one is.  For a reason.)  If you choose the latter, you won't benefit from the story either, probably.

A Trick Of The Light is about contrasts, about opposition, about light amid darkness.  If you refuse to consider the darkness, you'll hardly appreciate the light.

A Trick Of The Light is about honesty, about the truths and lies we tell ourselves, and others.  It is about truth's effect on relationships.  Truth is I am better and more honest with myself for having read this important book.

Way to go Louise.  A Trick of the Light is your best yet.  Bury Your Dead is still my favorite.  But this one is certainly your best.

Five glorious Stars

My review of Louise Penny's Bury Your Dead.

Book Review - The Miracle of Freedom - 7 Tipping Points that Saved the World by Chris and Ted Stewart

Seldom has a book held such a soul deep captivity on my attention as Miracle of Freedom - Seven Tipping Points that Saved the World!

It is so easy to take the liberty we enjoy for granted; or it has been.  It is not so easy any longer.  I will always cherish the journey this book took me through to arrive at my current and profound appreciation for what we've been so freely given.

Of the 110 or so billion people who have lived on this planet only about four percent have lived under any privilege resembling the freedom we currently enjoy.  The rest, the great majority, have languished under oppression so appalling as to make me wonder how it could possibly be.  How could human beings be so cruel, thoughtless, greedy?  Speaking of the privileged and abusive few.  Or, how could the masses be so passive, in their squalor, deprivation and subjection?  Then you are forced to realize that for millennia, no one knew of or thought of life any other way.

I was amazed at how Stewart and Stewart made such a profound case for such obscure moments in world history.  I was amazed at how few were the brave souls who stood against oppression to give us what we now enjoy.  Clearly, the blessing of liberty was not the norm.  Clearly, it took thousands of years to prepare the earth for what we currently seem to take for granted.  Certainly, the hand of God was in those pivotal moments when, against overwhelming odds, a few brave men and women stood against forces that would have prevented progress toward this glorious age of abundance and emancipation.

This book is an interesting read; full of stories, miracles, inspiration and awe.  I could hardly put it down.  It filled my heart with gratitude and hope; while it reminded me how fragile and temporary our freedom might be, should we lose track of its value and lose courage for the constant battle that is required to maintain it.  Left to itself, the natural tendency is toward decay and so it is with individual liberty.

I will never again look at my blessed freedom with such careless disregard.  The depth of my gratitude, as I write this, amazes me.  How could one little book make such a profound difference?

Somehow, as I read the book I realized that freedom doesn't emerge on a national or global scale before it emerges in individual lives and hearts.  Many of those to whom we owe so much had personally climbed out of the captivity of ignorance, fear, doubt, excess and depravity long before they gave that gift to their fellow citizens.  So it must also be, with us.

Five Stars!