Book Review - Bachelor Brothers' Bedside Companion by Bill Richardson

Bachelor Brothers' Bedside Companion is third in a series.  Bill Richardson might have quit at two.  I found it dull and cerebral and largely lacking in the pleasure of the first and to some extent the second.  These books are written on a premise that is sheer genius.  They focus on twin brothers who operate a B&B in British Columbia.  This eclectic collection of stories, poetry and  falderal are variously written as though, by host, guest, or neighbor.  Some are gathered from the wind, while others, from a plethora of books cluttering the shelves of the Inn.

While the format enabled Richardson free rein as to the content collected between the covers (an enviable opportunity to publish everything he ever wrote); the books successively lost my interest as his stuff became ever more distant from my imagination.  There is one exception.  Hector:  In Came the Lady with the Alligator Purse may well be Richardson's finest piece, or rather masterpiece.  This is Bill Richardson (not to be confused with the Governor of New Mexico) at his very best!  I'll keep the book if for no other reason; well, that and to possess the whole set.

Hector and Virgil are great, enjoyable characters, as are Mrs. Rochester the parrot, Altona, the girl friend, Caedmon the hired hand and several others.  And there's the rub.  This volume largely abandoned the characters for other obscure and dusty detritus.  You'll love the first book, like the second and if you're like me, tolerate the third, with the afore mentioned exception which, standing alone, may just be worth the price of the volume. 

This one gets two stars.

Did You Know They've Removed The Word Gullible From The Dictionary?

My Conservative friend, Craig, frequently forwards emails to me that are meant to rally people to the Conservative cause.  An alarming number of them are bald faced lies!  Take the one I got today for example.  It's headline read:  VERY QUIETLY OBAMA'S CITIZENSHIP REACHES THE SUPREME COURT.

This email made claims that seemed to prove that President Barak Obama was not a natural born citizen of the United States and therefore, does not qualify to be President of the United States.  It claims to have proof and claims a suit to that effect has reached the Supreme Court.  My research shows that these allegations and supposed events are pure fabrication meant to inflame and divide.

I don't receive forwards from any Liberal friends, so I cannot judge if this dishonest practice is taking place among them as well, but if I were a betting man, I'd put money on it's likelihood.

This dishonest, divisive, egregious practice has soured my stomach.  Who can actually suppose that lies will actually advance their position.  One such email included a threatening in quote from the Koran in an effort to stir anti-Islamic sentiment.  I looked it up in my own copy of the Koran and found it to be complete fiction, no such verse existed.  I think whoever invented that lie is indeed an infidel.  Who could blame a Muslim for despising him and his dishonesty.  Who could blame me for despising him too!  He is an enemy to all of us.  By his action, and my discovery of its prevarication, he placed me on the side of the Muslim and in opposition to him.  The dishonest, Conservative does the same thing.  To maintain my personal integrity, I must stand with the Liberals and oppose him.

Would that he were just a lone fool with tin foil on his head, living by himself in an attic somewhere.  But, alas I fear he is not.  He is legion and inspired by the devil.  He's spreading lies, hate and discontent in every issue.  Recently, The Deseret News had a whole feature designed to get to the bottom of all the allegations regarding the Illegal Immigration issues.  It was utterly sickening to discover that most of the negatively slanted accusations against illegal immigrants were grossly distorted and meant to mislead and enrage us.

With the internet, he has become almost impossible to find, stop, or punish for his deceit.  But he is only half of the problem.  P. T. Barnum once said, "There's a sucker born every minute."  I'm beginning to think the ring master grossly underestimated that figure.  The wide spread gullibility of the American population scares me to death!  More and more, we'll believe anything.  And we're being taken for ride by conspiring con-men who are hell bent on destroying us.  He's in every camp, on both sides of every issue and if we sucker for his lies, we'll all go down in flames.

Propaganda used to be a dirty word attributed to the Soviet Communists.  Make no mistake, propaganda is alive and well in America today.  It's time we woke up, cultivated a bit of skepticism and directed it not at the Conservatives, or Liberals, or Muslims, or Illegal Aliens, or Democrats or Republicans but at the liars.  It's time for zero tolerance for dishonesty.  The calculated lie is the foremost cause of the polarization of America today and it must be stopped.  So come on Americans, all of you, even you Craig; united we stand, divided we fall.

I Love A Parade! Really?

I actually think I do love a parade.  I watch and enjoy just about every one that happens around here.  But if you ask my regular companions you'll quickly learn that I often ask, "Why do we do this?"  I mean we fight crowds, bake in the sun, wait and wait; all to be deafened by sirens and jet engines.  We watch a bunch of half baked floats and every politician from here to Heber.  The vendors who drag their coaster wagons behind four-wheelers don't ever vend anything that appeals to me.  I always bring money just in case, but the last time I bought anything was 1994.  I quite often get angry when people don't stand for the flag or show respect for the Veterans. And then I worry about the American Legion.  They're all getting way old and no body my age, AKA Vietnam Vets, seems to be picking up the baton. Who will present flags from a grateful nation to these guy's widows?

I was in a parade once.  Sweetie and I were headed for Blanding and found ourselves driving down Main Street in Moab.  We hadn't gone far when we discovered the street lined with spectators, even some crowded bleachers.  Then we began to notice a number of hot rods in the traffic.  At a stop light we found ourselves next to a particularly obnoxious rod with a giant air scoop on the hood and flames painted on it side.  He was lettin' her rumble.  There was a baby asleep in his back seat.  How'd he do that?  We couldn't even run the dishwasher without waking ours up.  Sweetie rolled down the window, risking permanent ear damage and asked the fellow what was going on.

"You're in a parade lady." was his answer.

We found out later that there'd been a big car show in town and at it's conclusion everyone would drag main in their show cars for one last hoorah!  It had become such a tradition that the whole town showed up for the spectacle.

Sweetie began to enjoy the parade from this perspective and got out the video camera to record the crowd as we passed by.  Back home when we were viewing the video the scene passed a fellow standing on the back row of a grand stand holding a sign which read, "Show us your boobs."  Sweetie gasped and asked why I hadn't warned her about it.

"Well, why would I?  I didn't want you to show him your boobs?"  Fortunately, I was out of swat range for that one.

We both remarked that being in the parade was every bit as fascinating as watching one.  There's the whole town on display, sitting in lawn chairs, marinating in their own sweat and reacting in various ways to the spectacle parading by.

So it was today, as I pulled the Ward float in the Pioneer Day Parade.  They'd asked for a volunteer driver during Priesthood Meeting on Sunday and I had gladly raised my hand.  Had I known how pathetic our float was, I'd have realized why the Bishop, a truck driver, had opted to delegate this one to someone else.  Our float's theme, of provident living, featured a huge pink piggy bank.  It so scarcely resembled a pig though, that it's creators had put a sign on it's side indicating what it was supposed to be.  At it's best it couldn't have been too impressive, but shortly after its creation it suffered a cloud burst in the church parking lot that did something to the crepe paper that resembling a Mary Kay Cosmetics factory after a hurricane.

My son-in-law, whose daughter rode on the float, refused to accompany me.  He has a reputation to uphold I guess.  Hey, aside from the pig and scribbled poster paper signs along the edge, with nothing else to doll it up, the float was adorned with gorgeous children and a beautiful newly-wed couple and it turned out to be a masterpiece in a barn wood frame.  It definitely looked like it was built on a shoe string.  Even the trailer was homemade and rusty.  We should have posted a sign to read the old adage of thrift:   Use it up. Wear it out.  Make it do.  Or do without.  In that light we nailed it.

This year marks 100 years of Scouting in America.  The Scouts turned out en mass to march in their uniforms.  My grandson, a Cub Scout rode his bike.  He circled our rig the whole length of the parade.  What a kick to see him showing of his newly developed tricks.

Once again I loved watching the crowd as we made our leisurely way down Main Street.  Still, I missed the Drill Team on unicycles, the Model T carrying the Grand Marshall and the herds of little red faced dancers following Miss Barbara's Dance Class' promo float.  I missed standing for the Stars and Stripes and I missed applauding those resolute old Veterans who defeated Germany and Japan.  I missed the candy tossers and the squirt gun squirters.  Though, there was a new feature this year.  Someone had wheeled a huge trash can full of water to their viewing location and, with their own squirt guns, fought back.

On the way, it dawned on me why I love this business so much.  Our main street is also US Highway 40.  It is busy with lots of truck and tourist travel this time of year.  I relish the fact that five or six times a year we claim Main Street as our own.  Traffic is diverted somewhere else for a moment and we get our little piece of Heaven to ourselves.  And then we take a little time to celebrate who we are.  To show appreciation for the cops, firemen, National Guard, Vets, Representatives and distinguished citizens.  We take a little time to celebrate our children, their talents and beauty.  We pause in the middle of life's rat race and declare.  "This is us, such as we are!  And it tickles us to death to flaunt it in broad day light!

A Kind, Thoughtful and Able God

I've heard some remarkable stories this week that have made me pause to be grateful.

Herbert Klopfer and his parents escaped East Germany when he was fourteen.  Later as a young man he was called on a proselyting Mission to Switzerland.  Out of the blue he was called for a season to labor at the Swiss Temple, not as a proselyting Elder but to do administrative work.  During that short stint his three remaining Grandparents were granted permission to leave East Germany for a visit to the Temple.  Herbert was able to spend some precious time with them.  It was the only time he ever saw them again in mortality.

I spoke with a young man this week who I will not name.  During a time of struggle, rejection and loneliness, he changed schools and struck up a acquaintance with someone who freely gave him the new and blessed gift of friendship.  Some time later they discovered that they were full brothers; one having been given up for adoption when their shared parents were young and unwed.

During High Priest's Group Meeting on Sunday we were talking about the duties of a Teacher.  To quote from the 20th Section of the Doctrine and Covenants:

53  The teacher's duty is to watch over the church always, and be with and strengthen them;  54  And see that there is no iniquity in the church, neither hardness with each other, neither lying, backbiting, nor evil speaking;  55  And see that the church meet together often, and also see that the members do their duty.  56  And he is to take the lead of meetings in the absense of the elder or priest.

There was some angst expressed about such heavy responsibility being placed upon 14 and 15 year old boys.  I expressed opposing concern that we lacked significant faith if we failed to entrust such, Heaven decreed responsibilities upon them.  My comment spawned some agreement and some dismay.  One fellow declared that even High Priests don't shine in those prescribed areas, how could we expect boys to do so.

The time was late and I didn't want to further annoy some obviously agitated brethren, so I let the matter drop.  I will, however, respond here.

In my opinion, we tend to shoulder too much of the burden and to take too much of the credit in matters as here described.  I will give first a negative example, followed by a positive one.

Example A:  I have a couple of friends who have been cohabitating for some time.  They have a faithful Home Teacher whose visits they dread.  He's a nice enough man, but he feels it his duty to censure them each time he visits their home.  He clearly takes the admonition of Section 20 very seriously.  During their most recent visit this couple mentioned that they are moving to separate apartments while they decide if they should get married or not.  They took a pretty uncomfortable lecture on marriage and morals replete with unwelcome advice about how they should proceed with their lives.  This couple grows less and less amenable to the church and it's representative with every encounter.

Example B:  I once taught a wonderful widow lady who refused to come to church.  She hadn't been for over 50 years.  I like the home teacher in example A, did my best to persuade her to repent and come partake of the blessings church activity affords.  Always she resisted.  Always she showed signs of the discomfort my friends from the other example expressed.  I had a 14 year old companion and one month I decided it was his turn to teach the lesson.  He accepted and showed up prepared to teach our little less-active sister.  My young companion began his lesson by telling us that he hadn't known what to do for the lesson and that his mother had found a poem for him to share.  I don't remember the poem, or that it had any special meaning.  I most certainly did not have anything to do with whether the sister ought to be attending church or not.  I do remember though, that the young man was moved by the message of the poetry.  When he finished, his eyes misted up and looking directly at the little lady and said, "I sure love my mother."

The next Sunday Sister Wilson showed up to church.  She spoke with the Bishop.  Eventually, she received a Temple Recommend and spent the balance of her life active in the church and serving in the Temple.  Later, she told a mutual friend that she never needed to be told what to do, in her heart she already knew that.  "What I needed," she said, "was to feel the Spirit of the Lord and when that young man helped me feel it, I knew in an instant that I must have more."

Now, you can't tell me that my junior companion didn't fulfill, completely, the duties of a Teacher.  Whereas, I most assuredly had not.  The primary duty of any Priesthood holder is to bring the Spirit of the Lord into the meetings as associations he's involved in.  And here are two examples of High Priests failing to do that and one of a Teacher succeeding.

What does this have to do with the earlier two stories?  Everything.  God is good and kind and deliberately involved in our lives.  He is able to do His own work.  We take too much upon ourselves when we undertake to do God's work for Him.  Our assignment is to help those we serve to make their own connection with God, not to presume to be that connection.  Hence, "if ye receive not the Spirit, ye shall not teach!"  (D&C 42:14).