Book Review - Will Power Is Not Enough by A Dean Byrd and Mark D. Chamberlain

I hold that Jesus Christ is the author of change.  So, it seems, do Byrd and Chamberlain.  While that simple statement is profoundly true, there are some things we each must understand in order to tap into the power of change.  This little book has been tremendous in helping me effect change in my own life.

Here are a few notions from the book that seemed especially helpful to me:

"Problems of self-control are often misguided attempts to meet legitimate needs."

"The difference between "want to" and "should" is a profound one."

"Whether we are trying to abstain from alcohol, drugs, binge eating or gambling, most failed attempts can be traced back to some unexpected emotional stress."

"When it comes to changing our lives, our energy is often better spent in setting the sail than in rowing the boat." 

These all ring very true to me.  I found it motivating to better understand the situation I was really in before I tried to make adjustments to my behavior.  Often, I can find healthier ways to meet my emotional needs, which when met, cease to compel me to meet them in unhealthy ways.

The book is replete with case studies, which both illustrate the principles being described and also to help the reader realize the nature of their own self defeating behaviors.  It is one I will definitely re-read.

Perhaps the most telling part of the book for me, was the realization, from a case study, that the lion's share of my problem lies, not in misbehavior, but in being stuck in the middle of the bridge between the things I want.  On one end of the bridge are unhealthy means for meeting my emotional and spiritual needs.  On the other end are the good things I desire.  When I fail to understand what needs I hope to meet I fail to identify the uplifting ways God has designed to meet those needs.  I don't want to do the bad behaviors, but don't recognize their authentic alternative, so resisting the bad I'm like a dog stuck in the middle of the bridge with his loved master calling from one end and some appealing smell on the other.  I shudder to think of the hours and hours I've wasted in my life, not doing bad, just stuck in the middle of the bridge doing nothing.

*****

Book Review - A Rule Against Murder by Louise Penny

This Chief Inspector Gamache edition doesn't take place in idyllic Three Pines.  At least not nearly so much.  This disappointed me at first.  It becomes interesting though, as every character is out of his/her comfort zone and it shows.  I like it because it plays well to the central theme of the story - deception.

I have long held that we lie because we are trained to.  This volume explores that issue in wonderful depth and breadth.  Referring to her mother-in-law Clara, for example, says:

Mrs. Morrow fiddled with the stem of her wineglass.
"Did you say that, Peter?"
"No, I didn't, Mother.  I'd never say such a thing."
"Because I know when you're lying, I always know."
This wasn't difficult Clara knew, since in her company they always lied.  She'd taught them that. Their mother knew where all their buttons were, and why not.  She'd installed them.

The interesting thing here is that Mrs. Morrow is in her nineties and her children are well into adulthood.

As in all of Penny's work the story, though outwardly about murder, is really just a vehicle to examine human nature.  I grew up thinking I was truly a sinner as I was clearly a liar. It took a long while to realize why I lied.  And while that may sound like an excuse; I still subscribe to the notion that Woe, is unto the liar, who shall be thrust down to hell.  Not some future Hell, but an immediate and  present one of fear and a profound lack of authenticity.

Early in the book, Thomas Morrow describes a plant in Africa that pretends to be a stone, so it won't get eaten:

"It's cunning," said Julia.  "A survival instinct."
"It's just a plant," repeated Marianna.  "Don't be foolish."
Ingenious, thought Gamache.  It doesn't dare show itself for what it really is, for fear....
Thomas said, "Things aren't as they seem."  Gamache was beginning to believe it.

And so, to survive we lie.  Makes me wonder, in my own parenting.  How often did my children feel they had to deceive me in order to "survive."  Of course I wouldn't have killed them.  But did I make it too dangerous for them to truly represent themselves for who they really are?

I think my own in-authenticity has truly been hell, right here on earth.  It is hard for a plant to flourish and grow while pretending to be a rock.  Louise paints such a clear picture of the consequences of deception as to motivate me to emerge from hiding.  Trouble is, as with the Morrows, I've pretended to be something I'm not for so long, I've lost track of who I really am.

Penny uses Gamache to quote:

"The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n."

"A poem by John Milton," said Mrs. Finney, sitting upright next to her husband.  "it's about the devil being cast out of heaven."
"That's right said Gamache.  "The fall from grace.  The tragedy in Milton's poem was that Satan had it all and didn't (wouldn't?) (couldn't?) realize it."

He was a liar from the beginning, the Father of lies.  And of course the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

*****

Pachelbel Rant

Nuff Said....

Book Review - Remembering Wholeness by Carol Tuttle

Wow!  My head is spinning!  This is quite a fun book to read.  Carol Tuttle and her style are certainly unique to Mormonism.  It was both motivating and distressing and before I can fully settle on what I think about this read, I'm probably going to have to read it again.  Overall, I'd say Tuttle is more influenced by Depak Chopra than by Thomas S. Monson.  More influenced by The Secret than The Book of Mormon. While this may not be true, it is certainly the impression I get from the book

It seemed like Carol Tuttle had a hard time deciding who her audience was.  There were moments when it seemed she was writing to Latter-day Saints specifically, but overall, it was as though she was shooting for the broader audience.  Those more intimate LDS moments could have been so much more meaningful had she cited Scriptural and prophetic references.  As it is, the book seems watered down in that regard and I found myself thinking why not just read Chopra or some other New Wave guru?  Oh, that's right, I already have.

There is a Pollyanna-esque mood in the book that also, both inspired and distressed me.  (This could be a reflection on me.)  I gathered from what Tuttle was saying, that affliction, hardship, difficulty are not necessary in mortality.  At least from here on in.  I'm not so sure that rings true.  While I believe that I can choose my own response to the things that happen to me.  And while I can accept that I do attract negativity into my life on occasion - and that I could choose to attract more positiveness; I'm not so sure life can be as entirely blissful as she wants to paint it.

I wish I could more clearly place my finger on that which is unsettling about this book.  Something disturbs me for sure.  It is not the kind of disturb I got from say, The Miracle of Forgiveness.  More like the unsettling feeling that came when I read Embracing the Light, to which Nibley responded with Embarrassed by the Light.  It just doesn't ring true, entirely.  Carol Tuttle teaches that by our beliefs, feelings and thoughts, we attract good things or bad things into our lives.  Which makes me wonder what she thinks, believes or feels that is attracting this rather negative review?

**